Kids Movies No Kid Should Watch List

WARNING: Spoilers and serious chills ahead

I mentioned in my last post that I have a list of kids movies that should not be called kids movies-- they are inappropriate or extremely scary. These movies happen to be ones that almost every parent deems fit to show your small children, but really should be thinking twice about. I am no parent, but after watching these movies as an adult, I can't help but to raise an eyebrow and say, "I watch this when I was a kid?"

1. Monster House (2006)

A house that eats children. Not even on Halloween! That goes way beyond a ghost in a house or a monster under the bed in a house. The whole house is trying to kill you!

2. All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

Just because a movie is a cartoon that does not mean that it is meant for children. This is not a cute and cuddly animated movie about a dog and a little girl. It's about a cheating, lying, stealing dog who dies and then uses a cute little orphan girl to get back at his killer. The movie even shows kids what hell looks like.

3. Labyrinth (1986)

The very first time I watched this movie was at my aunt and uncle's house. I will never forget sitting on the bed with my cousins and we popped the movie into a VHS player. My aunt had assured me that I would love the movie being a fan of all things fantasy and sharing her love of fairies. I saw this single shot (pictured above), freaked out, and shut the tape off immediately. The creepy little creatures stealing the baby out of his crib had terrified me. It was not til I was fully grown that I attempted to watch it again. And then there were even more scary parts that I was glad I had missed as a child (the talking hands!!)

4. Return to Oz (1985)

What could be harmless about a little Wizard of Oz story? Everything. The 1935 Oz is very different from the Baum Oz. This movie is based off of the Baum version complete with a pumpkin-headed scarecrow and an evil with named Mombi who has a removable head and a whole room where she keeps her others . By the way, it was no picnic coming back to Kansas either. Dorothy was tortured with electroshock therapy to try her to get rid of the "dream" of Oz. Oh yeah, and it's a Disney movie.

5. The Witches (1990)

Another movie I waited to watch until I was grown. It's about a little boy who goes on vacation with his parents and happens to stay in a hotel inhabited by witches. And not your average witches, these are witches who eat children, use chocolate and candy to lore them away from their families, and then tear off their faces to reveal their true ugliness. This is the stuff of nightmares.

6. All the Indiana Jones Movies (except the 4th one) (1981, 1984, 1989)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

There is a way to get around these movies traumatizing your children. I successfully watched all of them before I turned 13 and I only had nightmares from "Last Crusade". Tell your kids to cover their eyes at the right moments-- before the evil priest ribs the guys heart out ("Temple"), before the Nazis get incinerated by the power of God ("Ark") and before the evil German dude turns to ash after drinking from the wrong cup ("Crusade"). These are classic adventure movies that every kid needs to watch at some point in their life (skip the 4th one though, not worth it). So a little terror won't hurt them.

7. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

You know the scene I'm talking about. Before you even got to this one, you knew it was on this list. The tunnel boat scene. It's the quintessential WTF scene. There is no purpose to scare the living daylights out of these kids and parents (honestly, they go through enough already), but the scene is still there.

8. Gremlins (1984)

#1 This is not a Christmas movie. #2 This is not a movie made for kids. The mean Gremlins are truly terrifying, there is mention of a death by fireplace on Christmas Eve, and the whole last portion of the movie. Why did he have to feed them after midnight?!!! Cute little Gizmo would have made a perfect kids' movie, but no. He had to feed them and get them wet.

9. Coraline (2009)

I only recently watched this movie for the first time. Mainly because of the movie description. It's about a girl who finds her way into a parallel universe where everything seems happy-go-lucky but is far from it. Her "parents" want to keep her in their world forever by replacing her eyes with buttons! And turn her into a zombie! And her Other Mother, as she is called, turns out to be a horrifying spider/anorexic monster!

10. The Dark Crystal (1982)

Just because it's Jim Henson (man who made "The Muppets") doesn't mean it's for kids. It's about a monkey-looking race that can only be saved by this lost shard of an ancient crystal and one money-looking thing goes looking for it. The creatures are just creepy looking. The evil bird-lizard things that take over are creepy. And the main characters almost look human but certainly are not, which makes them even more creepy.

11. The Black Cauldron (1985)

The forgotten Disney movie is forgotten for a reason. It is not for kids. The villain is an undead skeleton king who wants to raise his army of the undead to kill everyone and to do that they need to sacrifice a magic pig. The skeleton king will bring you nightmares for years. Which is why Disney World has never incorporated this movie into any of their attractions, but I hear that there used to be a walk through ride in Tokyo where you came face-to-face with the skeleton king himself. No thank you.

12. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

I will never forget the first time I watched this movie. It was on a Snow Day. My siblings and I had just come from playing in the snow for hours outside. We were all excited because my dad had brought home a projector attached to a VHS player from his work. For some reason, we had rented "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"- something my parents had seen and thought we would like it. My sister did not. I can still remember her cowering under a blanket when she saw the Child Catcher- which is a pretty creepy concept in and of itself.

Extra: There are also parents who should really read the rating (to dad that took little kids to see R-rated "Watchmen") and the story description (to the parents who took their 7-year-old to see "Hunger Games" 2-- it's a war movie!!). Have any bad parenting at the movies stories? Any movies that terrified you as a child that I missed? Please comment and share!