UPDATE!! Posting Comments

Guess what?! You can now post comments on my blog using Facebook! YAY!

All you have to do is click on "No Comments" and TADAH! You can enter your comment!

If you have any troubles, please let me know. If this doesn't work, I would like to fix it so that everyone can have their voice heard.

Thank you! And keep reading my blog and watching movies!

Lauren :)

The First Time- "My Life in Ruins" (2009)

Before I begin, I just wanted to address something. Several people have come to me saying that they do not agree with my last review of "42". That is why I write these reviews. I write them so people can talk about the art that they experience, and yes, sometimes disagree.

Despite what most people think, the purpose of a critic is not to negatively criticize every film they see. The point is to get people to go see movies, develop their own ideas about them, and talk to their friends and family about what they saw. So please! Please comment on my posts! Let's talk about it! I'm all ears!

"My Life in Ruins" (2009)

I was told before forcing myself to watch this film that it was going to stink. It's sad because Nia Vardalos was so wonderful in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (2002). She was likable, relatable, and exactly whole we all wanted to be. She started out as "frump girl" and transformed into a gorgeous, confident woman with a sexy fiancee who went through hell and high water (her family) to get married to the love of his life.

So if she could do that, why couldn't she make another awesome movie involving Greece and a sexy guy? Because the world is not that kind.

Vardalos's character Georgia was mainly annoying. She spent most of the movie complaining about how awful her life is and how she has a horrible job (as a Greek tour guide) and nothing ever goes her way. Ok, yes, we all have those days, weeks, and sometimes years where nothing seems to be going our way. Life is pelting lemons at our heads and we can't seem to do anything about it. It just burns.

But you can really only take a woman whining and complaining for so long, and this is coming from a woman. In comes Irv, played by Mr. Holland's Opus himself, Richard Dreyfuss (If you haven't seen "Mr. Holland's Opus" (1995), DO IT! It's life-changingly awesome!). Irv starts out as your average class clown old man who seems to just want to drag Georgia's tour down to the ground. But frankly, we don't care if he does because at least she stops complaining for a while.

And next but not least, the sexy Greek guy named Poupi (yes it's pronounced like poopy). He is played by the unknown Alexis Georgoulis. Poupi is the mysterious and quiet bus driver substitute who doesn't speak English. Insert more of Georgia's rants about her horrible life. Guess what... he does speak English!!! HA!

The Plot

Georgia wanted to teach Greek history at a university, but she couldn't get hired anywhere so she came to Greece and got a job as a tour guide of the ancient world she is an expert on. Georgia has decided that after this tour, she is going to quit her job. She sleeps in terrible hotels and has people on her tours who don't listen to her or appreciate all of the knowledge she has to offer.

With the help of Irv and the mysterious Poupi, she learns to open up to life and new experiences. She learns to love her job and falls in love with... Poupi, of course. And she doesn't quit her job. But you could have figured that one out.

The Cast

Vardalos doesn't shine as much in this one than she did in "MBFGW". Her character was not a very likable person so I don't think it was entirely her fault.

Dreyfuss was amazing! He totally made this movie for me. There is a moment when he leaves the scene for a while, and all I kept thinking was, when is Irv coming back??!! He is the life of the party and the life of the movie. Too bad they couldn't have just done the whole movie on him.

Caroline Goodall ("The Princess Diaries" (2001), "Hook" (1991)) makes an appearance as a doctor go vacation with her husband and angsty daughter. I have loved her in all of the other films I have seen her in, but she was pretty flat in this one. No life. I blame the writing.

The Message

Stop complaining about your life and open up to new experiences. Life never goes as you plan, so just take it and relax. 

"Well if you call it a job, it ain't fun. I mean, look at porn stars. They get to 'schtup' all day. They should be happy. You never hear about a happy porn star."- Irv aka the Yoda of Life in the 21st century

I can't say the script is bad writing.

Overall

So what's the issue with this movie? I think it was trying to hard to be another MBFGW. And it really wasn't meant to be. Too many characters were floating around and we didn't get to know any of them very well, except for Irv and Georgia, and Irv was more fun to know.

My recommendation, don't spend your money on buying it. A cheap rental or online streaming is fine. If you want some great life lessons from Irv, enjoy.

1 out of 4 Ruined Columns

In Review: "42"

Why do we watch baseball movies? The same reason why we sit in front of the TV for hours watching a team play a million miles away from our couches. The same reason why we sit in the stands and get rained on, sunburned, and wind whipped. We want to watch our favorite team play. We love the game of baseball.

“42” was lacking that key factor-the act of playing baseball. We never got to sit and watch a game all the way through, from pitch to pitch, from hit to hit. We didn’t even get to watch the Dodgers play the world series.

Great baseball movies like “Field of Dreams” (1989) and “A League of Their Own” (1992) realize that baseball is at the heart of every story. And although you may have ghosts roaming the fields or women swinging in short skirts, they are always playing the game. They were just there to play baseball.

That line was used throughout “42”, but I don’t think that is what this film was all about. I don’t condemn this film for not letting me watch the great Jackie Robinson play, but I do wish they would have let me.

Automatically this film reminded me of “Batman Begins” (2005). Jackie Robinson is a hero of the ages, like a superhero in those days. He did the impossible not because he had to but because he wanted to. But Batman did not become Batman overnight. He had years of training and someone always there to catch him when he fell. “Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again.”

What we tend to forget about the real world’s greatest heroes like Martin Luther King and Ghandi and Mother Theresa, is that they didn’t become who they are known to be overnight. And they did not get their strength from a falling meteor.

This film shows us the people behind the hero- his wife Rachel Robinson, his fellow players, the man who signed him to the Dodgers Branch Rickey, and his driver/friend/supporter Wendell Smith. These people suffered just as much as Robinson did, on and off the field. Robinson could not fight the color battle alone.

At the end of the film, as in every biopic, they show the characters and what happened to them after the film story ends. When they shows the characters of this film, I couldn’t have told you who they were without them flashing up the names of each player. There were too many characters to focus on and not enough time spent using them. Much more time spent showing slow-mo walk around the bases.

The pace was agonizingly slow. Two hours worth of sliding around the real issues and covering the truth with witty one liners from Harrison Ford. Not even when they were playing a game was there any action on the field. There were a few times that I felt like I was actually at a game, rooting for someone to shut that coach up. But not enough for me that stop checking my watch, wondering when they would get to the good stuff.

The Plot

I’m not even going to tell you because you really shouldn’t be thinking of seeing this movie if you don’t know who Jackie Robinson is. It goes from when he goes to the Montreal Royals and then when he is traded to the Brooklyn Dodgers, up until the world series in 1955. 

The Cast

Everyone is in this movie. Literally, everyone. It may have been a way to distract the audience from noticing the lack of action. You got a little butterflies in the stomach every time you recognized someone new. Not to say that the acting was bad. I would definitely not say that. Harrison Ford was delightful as the surly Branch Rickey. This is Chadwick Boseman’s first big role and he was able to bring all of the heart and stamina required for the title role.  The rest of the all star cast includes Christopher Meloni (“Runaway Bride” 1999), Ryan Merriman (“Pretty Little Liars”), Alan Tydk (“A Knight’s Tale”), John C. McGinley ("Scrubs"), Hamish Linklater "The New Adventures of Old Christine"), Toby Huss ("King of the Hill"), T.R. Knight ("Grey's Anatomy"), and James Pickens Jr. ("Grey's Anatomy"). It's like an easter egg hunt... with no chocolate inside. (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!)

The Message- Why I didn't like it

 In the last year I have noticed a fear of discrimination. When “Django Unchained” (2012) premiered, the press was in an uproar about the repetitive use of “the N word”. As Tarintino explained, this is history, not fantasy. The same goes for this film. I can imagine the director, Brian Helgeland, being afraid of offending people by using “harsh language”. But the truth is, what is so shocking is that this was the way people talked to African Americans in that time period. And it wasn’t just bathrooms and restaurants that were segregated. People were run out of their homes for the color of their skin. African American children received lower standard education materials than white children. People were lynched, killed, murdered for the color of their skin. 

What was shown in this movie was nothing. One coach yelling racial slurs at Robinson and one pitcher that beamed him in the head. That is nothing compared to what he went through. Absolutely nothing. If the reasoning behind not showing the actual events of history is because we don’t want to scare people then we better get over that really quick. Staying ignorant is what keeps us from moving forward. If we are uneducated in the error of our ways then we will continually make the same mistakes until the end of time. And it’s sad to say that some people still think the way they did back in those days. And that is because of our fear to see the ugliness of our past. The sooner we face it, the sooner we can move forward.

I feel like it just wasn't enough to show the whole picture. Yes, you don't have to show his whole life from beginning to end, but you need to let me know who he was and put me into his world. But it was like everyone was afraid to tell me the truth. Throughout the movie everyone is warning Robinson about the struggles he will face and it leads up to this one scene! And then the movie ends. So we are told to believe that his troubles ended there too.

The movie also ends right as I am starting to understand Robinson. It is hard to have this type of movie when the main character barely talks at all. He is an internal sufferer as they would say. Which is fine if we get internal dialogue or we are constantly interacting with people who know him very well and can translate him for us (like his wife- who we BARELY SEE!). 

Overall

(This is "Moneyball" (2011)-really good baseball movie)

I can't penalize this film for not having any heart. I smiled and laughed many times whether at Ford's one-liners or at the strength of Robinson's character. But the potential that this film could have had and they blew it is what really upsets me. They had a great story to show the strength of a man in adversity and we get one bad scene and lots of wasted frames.

My suggestion- please wait for the rental. Maybe just borrow it from a friend. Or read a book instead if you really want to get to know Robinson. Or go watch a real sports movie like "Remember the Titans" (2000).

1.5 Baseballs out of 4

(3 Strikes and you are OUTTA HERE!!)

In Review: "The Host"

Oh, Stephanie Meyer. Honey, your track record with movies is not one to be proud of - if we are talking quality. People either love you or they hate you. And frankly there is much more hate in this world for you than adoration.

So I go into this movie with rather low expectations to say the least. I was expecting cheesy lines, unemotional actors (*cough*cough* Kristen Stewart), forced romance, and forgettable and replaceable characters. Thank God that did not happen.

Ok, well, not entirely any way. There was still the cheesy, forced lines. Some include:

"Oh Jared..." (Heavy breathing)
"When you touch me..."

But I got through it, rolled my eyes, took a breath, and continued. Andrew Niccol, the writer and director, has taken simple concepts and transformed them into extraordinary works- "The Truman Show" (1998) and "The Terminal" (2004). So there was hope that this man could turn the Twilight/Meyer-haters around. He was able to do that through the words. Some lines were really well done:

"Melanie stepped into the other room so I could kiss you."
"No one's ever sorry for hitting me brother."
"You've got two minds about it."
"Kiss me like you want to get slapped."
(P.S. - I haven't read the book so I'm not sure if these lines are actually in the book. If they are, good work Meyer.)

The Story

(They didn't show the character Melanie throughout the film like in this photo (no double trouble here). You just heard her thoughts.)

Glowing caterpillars are taking over the world. They are inhabiting out bodies and creating a Utopian society. No one lies. No one steals. Everyone trusts each other. Yet, there is conflict. There would be no story without the conflict.

The movie opens with Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) being inhabited by Wanderer (Saoirse Ronan). The Seeker (Diane Kruger) is trying to get Wanderer to extract information from Melanie's brain, specifically the whereabouts of surviving human rebels. Then comes the fun part. Bipolar Disorder!! Wanderer can hear all of Melanie's thoughts, and Melanie wants her out. Melanie controls Wanderer to not tell Seeker all the information she wants to know. Melanie then forces Wanderer to leave the city. They arrive in the desert, rescued by Melanie's Uncle Jeb (William Hurt) , Aunt Maggie (Frances Fisher), boyfriend Jared (Max Irons), Ian (Jake Abel), and Ian's brother Kyle (Boyd Holbrook). We also find out that Melanie's brother Jamie (Chandler Canterbury) is alive in this giant cave where many surviving humans live. But of course, there are problems with having a "host" living with the humans. Jared doesn't trust Wanderer. Kyle wants "it" dead. Jeb trusts Wanderer, who he nicknames Wanda. And Ian falls in love with her. Crazy mess of emotions on top of Seeker still trying to search her down.

The Cast

Unlike Twilight, this cast is very recognizable to the every day film goer. Ronan is from "The Lovely Bones" (2009). Diane Kruger is from "National Treasure" (2004). William Hurt is from "The Big Chill" (1983). Frances Fisher is from "Titanic" (1997). Jake Abel is from "Percy Jackson" (2010). So you expect good material from these people. You know they have talent. You know they know how to act (*cough*cough* Kristen Stewart). And with what they had (a below average script, with ridiculously cheesy lines) they did pretty well.

The Message

There was zero connection between Melanie and Jared. The first time they met, he lip-raped her (attacked her with his kisses) when she was searching for food in an abandoned refrigerator. But really, you aren't supposed to feel for Melanie. You are in the body of Wanderer with Melanie's memories, but Wanderer's feelings.

This movie is not a traditional love story. I did not read the book so I can't speak for the original material, but this is not a traditional love story. At least, not the kind you think it would be. I expected "The Twilight Syndrome"- one girl can't pick between two equally hunky and wonderful guys. Boohoo for her. But instead, I got a story about two girls, one human and the other alien, becoming as close as sisters. It was about two different species coming to understand each other in the most humanly way possible. It was the love that is created when we all try to "be human." To act with humanity, dignity, to not kill for the sake of killing. This film gave more heart then I could have ever expected.

Overall

I went into this film expecting the worst. My friend told me that she liked it, which meant a lot coming from someone who despises everything Twilight. But I still wasn't expecting much. And I ended up getting emotional during a couple scenes. I ended up caring about these characters. (Frankly, if I was Wanderer I would've said screw you Jared. Ian is way hotter anyway. But that's just me.) In the end, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't another Twilight movie. And yes, it was better then the Twilight love story. But honestly, that's not saying much.

2 out of 4 glowing caterpillars

In Review- "Stoker"

I am not a person who likes to be scared. I hate horror movies. I would much rather watch a fluffy, childish musical including dancing furry animals and annoyingly cheesy lyrics. I am not someone to go see a horror movie willingly. Yet, I was convinced by a friend and fellow film enthusiast to see "Stoker".

If I were to show you these two images right after each other. What would you deduct?

We can predict that the woman wants to cross the finish line.

What if I switched these two images, and showed the finish line first and the woman's face second?

You still kind of get the same thing.

This is because our brains can use deductive reasoning skills to connect these two ideas and make our conclusion.

This is the technique that "Stoker" uses. It isn't exactly "scary". There is very little gore (mostly stranglings), and very little of the plot and character motives are directly explained to you. It is through your own experience of the film that you come to understand.

The other aspect of the film that communicates its message is sound. The main character may be standing behind a giant tree, and you can barely hear the whispers of other characters in the distance. The idea that these whispers create our characters and their lives. This same motif is used in other horror movies. You never "see" the monster, but you see its shadow. This is even scarier then seeing the monster. This is the idea of fear of the unknown.

These two techniques help to create the world of "Stoker". The world where everyone has a face they put on, but their true nature is hidden from view. The daughter seems quiet and reserved, but she is actually blood thirsty and demented. The mother seems happy-go-lucky, but is actually jealous of her daughter's relationship with her husband and her husband's brother. Uncle Charlie seems like a polite and kindly man trying to comfort the family he never got the chance to know, but he is in fact the killer, the consumer of the "perfect little family". (I didn't really give anything away. You know it's him the minute you meet him. Those shivers down your spine and churning feeling in the pit of your stomach gives it all away.)

The Plot

India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) has just lost her father and best friend Richard (Dermot Mulroney). Suddenly, out of nowhere, her father's brother, Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode), comes into the picture. He seems like a kind world traveler who simply wants to comfort the family he has never known. India's mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman), a stay-at-home mom, wants to escape the empty house every chance she can get. India is taunted by a school football-playing bully and protected by a loner named Whip (Alden Ehrenreich). Uncle Charlie stays at the Stoker home for quite some time, but why is he here? He seems to fit right in. But where has the cook gone? Why hasn't Aunt Gwen called India back? What are the secrets that this family keeps hidden?

The Cast

Little Alice is all grown up. Mia Wasikowska has come a long way from the Disney scene. But she is easily able to pull off quiet and disturbed India. I have never seen Matthew Goode in a role like this. His sexy smile haunts us in our dreams, instead of caressing us to sleep. Nicole Kidman has not been very successful in recent years. She has continued to be a part of projects that never take off the ground. "The Golden Compass"(2007) is a good example of this. Good idea, no results. This one however she is able to bring the sanity we crave throughout this movie. Her motives make sense to the average brain. We understand why she hates her daughter and why she wants to get with her husband's brother. She is somehow still able to keep us in the dark. Would she ever do anything drastic? Would she tell the authorities? Fight for her life? We never truly know all the secrets she holds so close to her heart. We never really know who she is. We just think we understand her motives.

Is It Worth The Scare?

I don't ever want to watch this movie again. Not because it is bad but because it freaked the hell out of me. I don't like monster movies, but I'd rather watch them then something like this. I know those monsters aren't real, but a family like this could be out there somewhere. I could have a twisted uncle out there who wants to corrupt my innocent nature with his black soul. Someone could have a mother who wants her dead. This could all happen in real life. That's what makes it all so terrifying.

On the other hand, this movie was very well done. The editing is impeccable. There is a shot that shows Kidman's blond hair and transitions to a shot of the weeds of the riverbank. The hair transforms into the weeds. There are other scenes involving a swinging light bulb. The flash of images stimulates the sensation that the bulb is swinging back and forth- in light and in darkness. The details of the editing remind me of Tarantino. The crackling of the egg shells. The sound of a belt being undone. The most simple details are perfected so that you listen and watch. So that you can't take your eyes off the scene for one second no matter how bad you want to.

2.5 Out of 4 Shovels

The First Time- "Only You" (1994)

You never forget your first time...

You're a little nervous, unsure of what is going to happen. You've heard people talking about it. Some say it's great. Some say it's terrible. But you decide to do it anyway. You swallow that knot at the back of your throat. You wipe off your sweaty hands on your jeans. And you press play.

Watching a movie for the first time can be a little nerve-racking. Especially if you've never heard about it before. For me, I like going into a movie where I basically know the genre, the characters, and the basic story line. I know what to expect. I know what kinds of things I will see. But watching a movie I have never heard of before... now that deserves it's own segment on my blog.

"Only You" (1994)

The best time in the world to watch movies on cable is 9am and 1am. This is when no one is awake to steal my remote and change it to some cartoon or Project Runway DVR recording. Everyone is out or asleep. Also, the cable company chooses to show those movies you have never heard of before or you remember watching years and years ago. During the day and prime-movie-time (6-9pm), you will see the same 3 movies on the same 5 channels for about two weeks until you can't watch Rachel McAdams run into Ryan Gosling's arms in the pouring rain anymore. This is when people learn to hate certain movies for no reason. You just have seen it too many times during prime-movie-time.

This 9am and 1am movie watching was a huge part of my past spring break. This is when I had my first experience with "Only You" starring the young Robert Downey Jr. and the Academy Award winning ("My Cousin Vinny"- AWESOME MOVIE!!) Marisa Tomei.

The Plot

(The "Meet Cute" Scene) See "The Holiday" (2006) if you don't know what that means

The story is your classic rom-com. Ironically-named main character Faith (Tomei) finds out through a Ouija board and a fortune teller that the name of her true love will be Damon Bradley. She finds herself in a predicament when she is engaged to a Dwayne. She is cool with this until she receives a call from a friend of Dwayne's calling from Italy to say he is trying to make the wedding. The friend's name is Damon Bradley. Faith darts to Italy with her best friend Kate (Bonnie Hunt, always the BEST best friend) combing the city to find her true love. She finally finds him in a Cinderella-like scenario. They embrace. They exchange poetry verses. They passionately kiss, and then... he tells her his name is Peter Wright.

The Stars

The cast here is truly a knockout. Personally, I wish Robert Downey Jr. would have stuck with rom-coms. He has so much charm and charisma that you can fall in love with him even if he is lying to your face. Of course, he was a lot cuter back then (thank you cocaine, heroin, and marijuana). By this point in time, Downey had already appeared on Saturday Night Live and starred in "Chaplin" (1992) which nominated him for the best actor Oscar. His career was in full swing, and it really hasn't stopped since (hence the drugs). Marisa Tomei is simply adorable. She has been in some real stinkers since the 90s ("The Guru" and "Wild Hogs"). This film was after her award winner "Vinny" (1992) and must have extended her streak. BTW- Tomei and Downey had worked together before in "Chaplin". Bonnie Hunt is also her wonderful, lovable self. She had been in "Rain Man" (1988) before this and some TV shows, but nothing that clearly defined her many years later as "the best friend" in some of our favorite rom-coms ("Jerry McGuire" 1996, "Kissing A Fool" 1998, and my favorite "Return to Me" 2000).

Reality vs. Fantasy

I am a hopeless romantic. I better be honest about it now. I love rom-coms. I know they are cheesy and over the top and ridiculous and many times have some of the worst acting ever. But I love them. Anything that can make me get butterflies in my stomach is totally worth watching to me.

That being said, this movie is good, but not awesome. There is a major issue. Peter lied to Faith. He ends up lying to her more then once in the end, and yet he is seen as her true love (I know that's not a spoiler. You guys saw that coming a mile away). But isn't love based on trust? If I can't trust you then I'm in love with the image of who and what I want you to be. As a hopeless romantic, I believe in destiny, true love, soul mates, and all that stuff. People disagree with me because of things like this movie. You should be able to have true love and a realistic relationship at the same time. True love should be something tangible to everyone, but through glossing over the truth in movies like this one, people think it is just fairytale.

In any case, I cried while watching this movie. I cried because of the purity of longing for true love. It's the stuff we read about when we were little kids dreaming of our prince charming coming to rescue us from the tower. That belief that things will work out alright in the end because somethings are meant to be. I think we need to be reminded of these things in our crazy lives. And if that takes sitting down and watching a cheesy rom-com every once in a while then so be it.

2.5 out of 4 Warm and Fuzzies